“She Has Big Boobs” – An Adjective Is Not A Benefit!

feature-benefitThis is an excerpt about features and benefits discussion I had with a client she wanted to know how she could make more money from each issue. I’ve cobbled together the relevant parts and removed names to protect the innocent. It is a very important content writing and copywriting lesson. Don’t get fooled by the funny.

Client: I have 2 new people in the office – 1 sales guy and one  girl who has a sister who is a chiropractor and she herself is a qualified masseuse BTW and she is lovely Zac J

Zac (because this is copywriting feedback for the newsletter and I get a kick out of being deliberately thick, After giving the client 2 pages of good advice – I added):

Finally, I gather the best things about ‘the new girl’ are:

  1. that she is single,
  2. her sister is a chiropractor (different from Osteopath because of the spelling),
  3.  is a masseuse
  4. is really nice

What sort of salesperson are you?  

2 Copywriting and Sales Lessons:

Lesson 1: none of these are benefits, they are features. One of them is a feature pretending to be a benefit. (can you guess which one? – write to info@newslettermarketing.com.au with ‘features’ in the subject line and tell me what the feature pretending to be a benefit is and why – 2 movie tickets for the first 3 correct answers and they will be published in the next newsletter.)

Lesson 2: Present the biggest benefit first, cos if that don’t get them interested nothing else will.

Client’s reply: She has big boobs!!!!

Zac: Still a feature!!!!

Thankfully, I know the client is being silly and the lesson learned – the matchmaking is a bit of fun for her. She thinks I am good boyfriend material, I have my doubts.

If you who want to sell more- focus on benefits. Here are my definitions:

FEATURE: The characteristics of the product being sold.

BENEFIT: What the product being sold can do for the customer. (what your customer actually wants)

That means adding big does not turn boobs into a benefit. We are still talking about a characteristic of the product. (As soon as you start selling anything or anyone they automatically become a product.  And any product can be made more desirable with good salesmanship read copywriting. )

What a product can do for your customer is determined by its features. But make no mistake, it is the benefits that your customers desire.

Let’s bridge the gap together:

I’ll turn ‘masseuse’ and ‘chiropractor sister ‘into a benefit. Cos, quite frankly I not sure how to work single, boobs and being nice into a benefit without offending someone. Probably too late but hey.

How do I turn a feature into a benefit?

Simple – with one question over and over. “Why is that important?” take the feature – new girl is a masseuse. Why is that important? Well, my back doesn’t hurt after it has been massaged. Why is that important? Asked enough times I come up with this for the most compelling way to present life feels pretty good when my back don’t hurt:

‘Hey Zac you know how you had back problems over Christmas? Well how much better if at the end of the day you could get a relaxing massage from ‘the new girl?’ Also she has a sister who is a chiropractor so anything she can’t fix she can get her sister to fix ASAP… How is that for stress and pain free living?’

You should never turn the task of extracting the benefits from a feature over to your client. NEVER EVER, EVER. They won’t do it. Robbing you of sales because you are TOO LAZY to think through how to make your products and services desirable to them. You are better than that. If not, unsubscribe.

See how much more attractive the new girl is even if you don’t have back pain after I’ve turned her skill into a benefit?

By the way, the first thing I thought when I read about the masseuse/chiropractor was “Yeah? So? and What?”

Anyway, to show you this isn’t a one off, another client sent me this list of reasons why his customers will buy an LED rechargeable flood light:

  • Super white led 10W
  • Brightness of 900+ Lumens
  • LED lifetime up to 5000hrs
  • Rechargeable 3.6ah Lithium Ion battery offering up to 4 hours of run time
  • Solid cast aluminium housing
  • Includes 240v  Plug in Charger

I might be naive but I am pretty sure that you buy a Floodlight to see in the dark (there will be reasons why this floodlight is better than the others (actual benefits) – to be extracted from its features).

However, if this guys clients can buy ‘a potion of seeing in the dark’ that allows them so see in the dark better than the flood light they will buy the potion, all other things being equal.