I don’t know where I first heard the idea of the emotional bank account but it seems like an accurate concept.
Unless you are dealing with a sociopath, it seems that most people keep a kind of ledger emotionally. You can build up good will towards you in others over time, do nice things for them and you get credits in the account. Take from them and you are making a withdrawal.
It’s probably tied into the metaphor of you attract more flies with honey than with vinegar. (Sheldon Cooper’s point that you can attract even more with manure doesn’t actually help…)
Personally, I’ve abused this phenomenon in a couple of past relationships just by not being aware. I’ve been accused of being selfish and emotionally aloof in my own relentless pursuit of my goals. I’m not a lot of fun to be around sometimes. Not enough nice things done and too much taken from the other person.
Ultimately, if you want to succeed with your customers in the long term you need to be making deposits in their emotional bank account regularly.
Just like a real bank account you can’t over draw without a fine, just like a real bank account you need to make deposits before you can make a withdrawal.
That is how loyalty works, you need to be making deposits, before you can expect loyalty, before you can expect referrals.
This is why you need have retention systems in your business. It is how you build the emotional bank account. As the balance grows the loyalty grows, the more likely they are to refer new clients to you.
Think about it this way, everyone wants referrals but they never actually make the effort to put all the necessary ingredients in place in order to get the referrals.
The first is existing customers who are loyally using your products and services. The second is a significant balance in their emotional bank accounts. Thirdly is a DAMN good reason for them to refer new clients to you.
When you get all of them right you get lots of referrals and lots of customer loyalty
When you don’t you leave all those additional profits on the table. Shame on you for not doing the work to get what is rightfully yours.