A number of mistakes are commonly made by people writing press releases, though the good news is that they are easy to avoid once identified.
One common error is showing the press release to friends instead of getting the opinion of a professional. Another is using a headline that is rather weak in nature. The headline of a news release is the absolute most important part of the release. If an editor is not instantly grabbed by your headline, chances are he or she will not carry on and read the rest of the release, no matter how scintillatingly written it may or may not actually be.
A really good press release kicks off with a “grabber” of a first line, then the first paragraph reveals the essential nature of the story. It should be direct, interesting, short and to the point. It is also a good idea to include quotes from a real person several times during the release to add color and life.